inferiorwit: (pony)
“‘Ordinary teenage girl is secretly super special.’ Next.”

“‘Ordinary twentysomething dude is secretly super special.’ Next.”

“Six novels’ worth of anime catboy porn. Next.”

“Why is there so much Maze Runner fanfiction on here?”

“Oh, hey, this one’s actually pretty good–no, wait, now the narrator’s ranting about Obamacare. Next.”

“Shoehorned heterosexual romance. Next.”

“Bleeding Cowboys on the cover. Next.”

“Did… did someone just copypaste the entirety of Pride and Prejudice onto here? What the fuck?”
inferiorwit: (socks)
Okay, so years and years and years ago I used to hang out on a website called “Portal of Evil.” Way back in Web 1.0, before social networking and wikis and such, PoE’s purpose was to catalog and comment on the strange, shocking, or incomprehensible corners of the internet. Usually furries, bad webcomics, and bad furry webcomics.

Discussion in the Portal of Evil messageboard tended to range from loving bemusement to downright cruelty, but PoE had one abiding rule. And because the website was full of fucking nerds, that rule was called “The Prime Directive.”

In Star Trek, the Prime Directive states that less-advanced civilizations are not to be meddled with. On PoE, the Prime Directive stated that the individuals or groups discussed on the portal were never to be contacted, and especially not directed towards the portal.

Portal of Evil basically functioned as the observation blind of the internet. You were allowed to mock some guy’s GeoCities website about installing fake vaginas in plush animals, but only where he couldn’t (and, ideally, would never) see it.

In the years since Portal of Evil shut down, the Prime Directive seems to have been largely abandoned. I’m not particularly happy about that. An observation blind exists to protect both the observer and the observed, and now that barrier’s gone.

And for all the modern internet’s obscure wikis and surrealist humor, I can’t help but feel like it’s lost the beautiful strangeness that allowed Portal of Evil to thrive.

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