inferiorwit: (Default)
... and because I work with a bunch of nerds we came to the conclusion that The Mummy (the real one from 1999, not the 2017 abomination) is basically a D&D campaign.

Evie is the bard who saves the day with historical knowledge and ancient Egyptian incantations. Jonathan is the rogue and her IRL brother who drives her to the game, so of course he had to play too. His stats are terrible but he rolls absurdly high all the time. Rick is the fighter who refuses to just attack-attack-attack every turn and insists on doing cool stunts, despite the fact that he rolls low on every ability check. Ardeth poured a lot of world lore into his character but could only make it to the very first and very last session. Winston is the seasoned roleplayer who doesn’t have time to game very often so he showed up for one session and hinted very heavily to the DM that he wanted an epic death scene. Beni had to bow out of the game a few sessions in, so the DM turned him into the villain’s minion.



The DM is very frustrated that Rick wanted to shoot his way through the treasure room puzzle and even more frustrated that he rolled a natural 20.
inferiorwit: (goat)
me: Hi, quick question. The website says you have a Dungeon Master's screen in stock but I can't find it on the shelf?
her: oh god
-

her, scanning the shelf: Wait, these don't go here.
her: (starts pulling books off the shelf)
me: Was that a gluten-free cookbook? In the gaming section?
her, with incredible weariness: YES.
-

her: Okay, let's check when it came in.
her:
her: July 9th.
me: Oh Jesus, it could be anywhere by now.
her: Right???
-

me: So I'm guessing you don't move a lot of these.
her: WE DON'T.
-

her: Let's see if any of our other stores have it.
her: There's one in stock at... the Edmonton International Airport.
me: Right, of course.
her: Of course that's where it is.
-

me: This isn't a big deal, I just had $10 left on a gift card I wanted to spend.
her: YEAH BUT IT'S GONNA BUG ME NOW
-

her: I can call the airport location...?
me: I'm not going to the airport for a DM screen.
her: Yeah, I figured.
-

me: Well, thanks for the help, at least.
her: I'm probably gonna find it the moment you leave.
me: Probably.
inferiorwit: (socks)
“I want to play D&D but I’m so bored with medieval fantasy.”

Eberron.

“I was hoping for more of a gothic horror vibe.”

Ravenloft.

“Wait, scratch the gothic stuff, I want more of a weird alien Dune-type thing.”

Dark Sun.

“Too dark, I just want to do D&D in spaaaace!

Spelljammer
.

“Fuck it, I want to play every setting at once and also make a day trip to hell so I can punch the devil right in his dick.”

Planescape.

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